What is Social Anxiety and or Social Phobia?

Millions of people around the world suffer from Social Anxiety Disorder (also known as Social Phobia) and related conditions. Despite being the most common type of anxiety disorder and the cause of much impairment and suffering, it is under-recognised and under-treated.

Social Anxiety is a condition that is still not widely known amongst the general public and was only recognized as a disorder in its own right as recently as 1980.
However, perhaps because by its very nature sufferers of Social Anxiety are reluctant to talk about their problems or seek help and that it happens on a less conscious level.

It is very likely that some, if not several, of the following list will be familiar to you:–

4Blushing
4Stuttering or stammering
4Unable to maintain eye contact
4Fear of public speaking
4Constant worry about what other people think about you.
4Being put ‘on the spot’
4Pre-exam or pre-test nerves
4Difficulty in making friends
4Lacking in confidence in social settings (shyness)
4Shy bladder (not wanting/able to urinate in public urinals)
4A fear of intimacy in relationships
4Find it very difficult to talk publicly or to give presentations
4Find large groups of people intimidating
4Find parties and small talk difficult
4Find talking on the phone difficult
4Find maintaining eye contact with people difficult
4Sexual performance issues (e.g. impotence, premature ejaculation)
4Feel as though people may find out that you’re a fraud

A fear of Being Judged

Social Anxiety is essentially the fear/phobia of being judged by other people. Where ever you are, what ever you are doing, you are worrying about what other people are thinking about you:

Most people care about what others think about them to a greater or lesser extent, with severe social anxiety which can become an obsession.

Social anxiety affects everyone us to a greater or lesser extent.

Some people have so much social anxiety that they shy away from relationships altogether and all social situations in order to minimise their exposure to their horrible feelings of being judged.

People driven in the opposite direction and ending up setting very high standards in order to avoid perceived being judged - these people often describe themselves as perfectionists…but they are not driven to be perfect…they are driven to avoid being judged for being a failure.

We all have our own social phobia beliefs about ourselves and these beliefs are like bricks in a wall. We tend to have social phobia walls and we start to see the world through the eyes of these beliefs and view all experiences through social phobic eyes and we start to judge ourselves and start to feel bad about ourselves, we can then feel un-connected with people and the world around us.

We become unlovable, not good enough and not deserving enough. This dampens our self-confidence and self-esteem.

Social Confidence

The feelings could happen at dinner parties, interviews, public speaking, whilst singing and anywhere in a social context. A person can also worry how other people see them and what they think about them. They can spend a lot of time and energy in making themselves look a way they want other people to see them.

Someone who suffers from this disorder can have sensativity to critisism, fear of rejection, also finds assertiveness difficult and has feelings of inferiority. The social phobic is adebt at concealing their anxiety, a tell tell sign is a difficulty in maintaining eye contact.

Underlying Issues

The issues created via social anxiety and social phobia can seep out into every aspect of your life: perhaps you choose to live alone, or begin to avoid social interactions; you lack confidence in your abilities and your lack of confidence creates difficulties on your work; you fail to get appointed to jobs you are more than capable of doing due to your lack of faith in yourself and this leads to others questioning your abilities too; you may dress in dull or dark colours to try and hide yourself, or perhaps you over-eat as a way of avoiding unwanted attention and/or flattery; you don’t challenge others in order to avoid conflict; or you may be chronically insecure about your relationships with others which can progressively undermine even the strongest of relationships.

There are few statistics about the extent to which people suffer with social anxiety and social phobia, and those that are published come with hefty health warnings about the likely inaccuracies. What we do know though is that almost everyone, at some stage in their life will experience feelings related to social anxiety.

Free Consultation

If you can relate to any of the above and would like to know more about how you make you’re social phobia walls crumble and learn to build self-confidence, self-esteem in social situations call Stephen, for a free consultation, in strictest confidentiality on 01775-680774.

E-mail: stephen@spalding-hypnotherapy.co.uk